on a break from work this morning, i was sipping my red bull (cos everyone knows i have chronic fatigue syndrome every morning) with my back towards to sun, all of a sudden in my field of vision everything started to darken, argh, i thought i was going to black out until i realised the sun just crept behind a cloud. bitch arse!

infuse for 4 minutes for a stronger coffee.

this instant coffee bag thing is crap, maybe i've over-infused. infuse is just a funky way of saying "leave it in the hot water"

"dunk the coffee bag for a better result" - i always, ALWAYS dunk my bags, everyone does, i dunked it quite vigorously as well.

anyways, that was a major let down and it was a reknown coffee brand as well, only goes to show, never trust anything 'instant'.

i saw the coffee bag sample stuck on the front cover of this week's publication of the city weekly. now i can at least say i've tried instant coffee, i saw, dunked and infused it.

it's difficult for me attach a 'regret factor' to something so trivial such as instant coffee, but the lesson remains, give it a try or regret not trying, and remember tomorrow is a brand new day.

now i'm going to try thick slices of raw fish.

i'm by myself,

on the side of a bus i see an ad with four girls in bikinis

it goes

"why do one... dufour"

then i crack up like a spastic.

I've changed, a lot, i don't know if i'm an improved or worse version of myself.

I've lost something, i feel incomplete. definately.

Friends that i've known for awhile never told me about my bad traits probably afraid of tearing a whole in my esteem, perhaps. I see my own flaws, every level headed person should be able to see their own flaws, but what if there's a blind spot? Things you don't see about yourself that isn't all that pleasant. Do people have to make it painfully clear to you before you decide to take a step back and give yourself some constructive criticism?

"accepting yourself is the first step to happiness" - that's hunky dory if you know what your good and bad traits are, cos you can work with what you know - keep the good and throw away the bad, but then we have those blind spots you know nothing about.

don't say ignorance is bliss, cos then you'll drive all your friends away and cease to make any new friends.

i hate being ignorant, it's just perceived as being inconsiderate, and at the end of the day your intentions don't count if it's not perceived properly.

i'm quite a nice person, really i am.