been writing a lot of incoherent crap lately, so this will be a change of some sort.

hello.

i'm running out of time, it's just past twelve mid night and i haven't started the dvd yet, i know i don't have work tomorrow, but still, i have to hurry this entry through before i can start the dvd, i must. i'm not on the dole, but i have run an errand and pay a visit to the local centrelink tomorrow, that's going to waste some time as well. if i could only convert the time i've wasted from "waiting" i think i'd feel less rushed right now. i'd wait for the train, then i'd have to wait for the train to get to wherever, that's like two hours of waiting on a round trip. i'd have to wait my turn for the bathroom each morning, i also have to wait for people i meet up with for lunch - damn my punctuality. Then wait for my food, no wonder why people go for fast food, that damned skinless chicken laksa took forever, and it didn't even have shallots sprinkled on the top of it. now i have to wait til tomorrow to go wait in line in the waiting room at centrelink. in the meantime, play that dvd i say.

that was fun.

i've started buying coffee at this new place that my colleague frequents, his name is kevin but the guys behind the coffee machine call him "hash", kevin tells me a while ago they thought that he looked like a marijuana dealer and the name stuck ever since. strange, perhaps they caught him with little sachets of hash pinned up against the inside of his trench coat doing his rounds on martin place, or or or, when everyone else was having a smoke break, kevin pulled out his twin-chambered bong and started smoking on his own supplies whilst sipping on the flat white he bought from the same place. i normally get a cap, one time i got myself a flat white, and well.. it tastes exactly the same as a cap except with less froth, is that the only difference? is it?! is it?! hmm, well tickle me blind. anyway, kevin is english, thin, pale and homosexual, so if he was dealing or abusing anything it'll be those harder type drugs like heroin, not to stereotype heroin abusers to be thin, pale and gay - they're just thin and pale.

a familiar smile amongst the crowd, i had been waiting five minutes and i was hungry, but alas she'd arrived and soon enough the smile had turned into a half giggle, so i subtly checked my fly and blew my nose, but i never found out what she had been laughing at.

did you bring your lunch?
yeah i'm still on that detox thing
you know it's kinda pointless, cos you've already blown it by having those krispy kreme doughnuts on the weekend and not to mention you'll be loading up on bad stuff later on anyway.
*shrugs* i suppose, but i've only got 4 days left..

i bought my lunch and she was making her detoxifying rabbit sandwich, and as i sat down i was thinking to myself - what a great friend i have. at the time there was no reason nor doubt, i had knew it all along so i guess writing about it was all that's left to do.

she knows me well, or at least, i think she knows me well. we have different social agendas, though they occasionally coincide, we normally update and give each other transparency into our lives and more importantly into other peoples lives.

sometimes, our conversations will start with 'did you know that so and so is..' and ending with 'oh my gosh i never knew that..' or 'are you FER REAL?!'

then we'd fill in the rest of our time with meaningless chatter about things like titanium tongs, kimchee, beef bulgogi and justin timberlake, and for that i am grateful.

these starburst sour gummi worms taste fan-fan-fantastic on this f-f-fine day..

fine wouldn't do this day any justice, stupendously brilliant would be a more appropriate description.

during this stupendously brilliant day my attention was diverted to a conversation about Geishas amongst my colleagues sitting next to me. one girl says, essentially they're prostitutes, straight out no explanation whatsoever, just prostitutes. she rests her case. talk to the hand. period.

err ok then.

though, i'd like to disagree, just for argument sake, by definition they are:

"One of a class of professional women in Japan trained from girlhood in conversation, dancing, and singing in order to entertain professional or social gatherings of men."

that's their job description, however, they do sleep with men, but only at the discretion of that Geisha. Then you have prostitutes, their job description differ ever so slightly, so slightly in fact that my colleague finds it indistinguishable! sad.

~

gee it's a stupendously brilliant day.

~

...i was sitting on the bench waiting for my train home the other night, a girl sits next to me, then she spots her friend walking along the platform and she shouts out to get her attention, her friend comes over:

girl sitting next to me: "i spent 25 minutes on the treadmill tonight, oh my gawd, i was going to die, apparently the doctor says i have low blood pressure, so i think i need a bit more sugar in my diet"

then her friend continues to walk down the platform.

another friend approaches:

same girl sitting next to me before: "i spent 25 minutes on the treadmill tonight, oh my gawd, i was going to die, apparently the doctor says i have low blood pressure, so i think i need a bit more sugar in my diet"

then her friend walks off.

i get on the train, i sit down in the row of seats behind the girl that sat next to me on the platform, and just as i was about to doze off into oblivion another friend gets on the train and sits next to her... guess what?

the same girl that sat next to me on the platform: "i spent 25 minutes on the treadmill..."

i could've almost mimed her conversation milli vanilli style, but that'd be rude.

admittedly, i do the same thing as well, everyone does, unless you blog it of course, cos it'll look stupid if you post it twice?

~

i'm almost over my sickness, i got an extra box of aloe vera tissues, so i need to only go through 100 more sheets of tissue to get that one bar code to enter the competition.

~

my friend got himself an apartment, and i'm so jealous, cereal.

~

i need to go get some biscuits now, but everyone sticks their hands in there right after their toilet break. i'm not quite sure what makes biscuits so appealing right after a toilet break, that kinda puts me off, but the trick is to goto the store room and open up a completely new packet of biscuits.

~

Q: what's the deal with all these '~' ?
A: dunno, looks kinda cool.

i am sick.

from what? who knows. i woke up not feeling the best, by 11am i've used up half a box of kleenex aloe vera tissues, that's 50 sheets at three plies per sheet of snotty yucky mucus, very charming, i know.

they say that these aloe vera tissues help sooth the irrititations from repetitive nose blowing, i say: "bullcrap!". My little bin under my desk is filled to the brim with scrunched up tissues and i bet the very next time i blow my nose, it'll come right off. I'll lose my nose, it'll never to be located, then how ridiculous would i look? Walkin' around without a freakin' nose for crying out loud. I'd try the lost and found box, but that'll be pressing my luck though, i mean, who'll be silly enough to pick up a missing nose and place it in the lost and found box, yes i completely agree, it's highly unlikely.

Though, not all has been lost, on the underside of the tissue box there's a sneezin' season competition, you could win: a holiday to Canada worth $15,000, a Breville Espresso machine or one of 200 fluffy duck slippers. Personally i prefer the duck slippers cos i hate cold feet. Now, all i have to do is buy 2 more boxes of these tissues and send in the bar codes and bobs your uncle. If this fluey-type sickness keeps up, i might have a chance of going through all 3 boxes and be in the running for the duck slippers, but i fear my nose won't be able to make it.

i met her about a day ago, she's 37, i can see it written all over her but she's never revealed her exact date of birth. she's been through quite a lot, a bit rough around the edges, though she looks in pretty good shape for her age. she doesn't say much nor does she do much, she sits there gracefully watching her life pass by, perhaps the last 37 years had been too eventful and now she'd like to rest in a bit of peace, or so it seems until i trade her off of course. i flip her over and i see a platypus in a body of water and a '20' written next to it. i flip her over again, and i take a closer look, "Elizabeth II Australia 1966".

..i was born in vietnam but i don't speak a word of it.
my dad was born and raised in cambodia.
my mum was born and raised in vietnam.
both sets of grandparents are 100% chinese.
ergo, i have 100% chinese blood and i speak a dialect of chinese so brokenly, i don't even try to compensate by using english for the words i don't know how to pronounce in chinese, i just go "errr" or there's complete and utter silence. i "err" alot, i think i do, in fact, i find myself erring everytime i speak to either of my parents, so, now along with our culture gap, we have (usually the parents, actually it's always the parents! always! haa) this "no understand" syndrome. it's not that bad really. but cos of these reasons, they've objected to some of the bigger decisions i've made, and because i want to make my own decisions they think i'm disrespecting them. Nonsense, of course i'd like to get their blessing but at the end of the day it's my decision. And why is it always about "respect"? why? why? why? i doooo, i do respect them, they just fail to see that. You know what it is? it's the fact that you haven't done things 'their' way and they ain't happy about that, not one bit my friend.

haa!

i know what it is! it's the weather! errr no it's not.

you haven't seen your old friends in ages, but they have their own agendas, their own lives to run, they don't really need to see you anymore. errk that's sad. is this what i've become? a nomad? you haven't paid your bill, it's been sitting there for awhile now, actually they've sent you an overdue notice, great, i'll wait for the final warning then in that case, i'm just too lazy. let's eat. let's. i've eaten too much, again. why do i do this to myself, i don't know, it's not that bad really, once won't kill, not unless it becomes a habit. thoughts are moving too fast, i try to write it down quickly but i can't capture everything, nor do i want to write down everything, not here, not for the world to see, it's a damn shame, you used to be happier you know, yeah i've realised that, or so it seems anyway. hey, you can move out soon too, yeah i know i can but i can't think that far ahead, do you know how to cook? clean? wash? argh, let's reassess at another time, it's late. yeah, so you and i haven't seen our friends in awhile, they don't care about you, well not as much as they did in the past, well, they're all hitched if you didn't realise they don't have time for you anymore, i guess not, but you're upset yes? a little, i've accepted it, then why are you writing about it now? cos i'm bored and it happened to cross my mind, you mean you've been thinking about it, a little, no alot, but it's not just that, other things as well i guess, what are you talking about? what do you mean other things? why i'm writing instead of sleep at four in the morning. what is it? i'm not sure, yes you are, you just don't want to talk about it, you're afraid you'll be judged, by whom? people who read this blog, people you know, it doesn't matter what people think of me, oh yes you do, you say you don't but you really do care that's why you've been writing about trivial matters, like you and your stupid car. i'm bored now, me too, go to sleep then, i don't want to cos the weekends too short i need to maximise my consciousness, err but you're bored, yes i am and i'll keep typing, and what will that achieve? nothing, just so there's an entry on my blog site for my friends to read, huh? what? for your friends to read about your little boring entry you wrote at four in the morning? can we find a topic please? yes, how about your room's in a mess and you have unpaid bills sitting on your table, we've talked about that already, ok then, how about that little monkey she gave you that's still sitting on top of your monitor, what about it? well aren't you going to take it down doesn't it remind you of her? yes, sometimes, but i like it, it's really not that bad, fine. fine. do you like girls? of course i do! then why don't you have a target? cos there's no one, even if there was you probably won't do much cos you're all talk, yeah i am umm, then do something, do what to whom? find a whom and do what you would normally do to the whom that you're interested in, oohh we'll see you can't push the issue with these things, i'm dissapointed in you, you've lost confidence, i have? i AM confident, no you're not, am so, are not! am so! whatever. errr this entry is boring, duh! i just want to write, you know you're suppose to get up early tomorrow cos we're taking jessica out for her birthday, yeah i'll be fine, you know what? i'm actually starting to feel better after all this writing, feeling better about what? everything, everything? yeah everything, i guess i'll have to see how i feel in the morning, it might be a change for the better aye? yeah might, hehe, you're funny, i know i am, you should try to be funny all the time, you mean i'm not funny all the time? nah you're not, quite boring most of the time, you just sit there like a teenager at a bar, piss off, haha you suck, now goto sleep and do something worth your while and stop acting like you're so cool, cos you ain't, yes i am well a little cool at least, then go impress someone.

with the shake of hands, he drove away, with my beloved.

it's been almost 4 years.

bye bye my car.

Mr. Mraz is coming to the Metro, can someone say yay?!

oh my...

icbm.

hi baboons!

hi christian.

oh my...

the truth hurts for some people, but it's rather annoying for me, if you mope about something, it's just becomes pathetic..

if you take a light hearted approach to different situations, it won't affect you as much. so, where am i going with this? i don't know.

anyways, excel just crashed on me and i lost an hour worth of work, what happened to auto save?

in other news, matrix reloaded is out today, nice...

i don't like my new hair cut!
it's too short!
*sigh*
i'll give it a couple of weeks.

in other news, my car's on the trading post, it's gonna be in this weeks listing 08/05.

listening to the radio, at work, i'm bored out of my brains and it's a chore just trying to look busy, hence this entry.

i got my car back, after being in the garage for the last 4 and half months. my friend convinced me to purchase an after market bumper bar, it's now rather impractical, yes, lets sell the car.

you really want to sell the car don't you?

yes.

but you never do anything this drastic.

well, i think it's time i did, people get comfortable with routine - but it's rather bland. change is good, change breathes new air into your life, blah...

are you sure? you'll have to put an ad up in the trading post, it's too much of a hassle and you won't have any time.

whatever.

you're not going to go through this stupid 'change management' in other areas of your life are you?

perhaps.

just cruising along.

there's no objective, i feel so unmotivated - what am i working towards? where am i heading? what is my plan?!

no, nothing really, just cruising into the void.

someone inspire me!

a couple i've been long time friends with got married last night and i was the bestman.

over 10 months worth of planning went into this one day, and i gotta say, i don't think i'll ever get married, it's hard goddamn work.

this is how the whole day panned out:
got to the brides house for the traditional asian tea ceremony where the bride and groom gets draped with jewellery or lots of money plus lots of photos, then we were off to curzon hall where they say 'i do' and sign the marraige ceritificate plus lots of photos. We made our way to various landmarks around sydney for.......more photos. Under the anzac bride, on the anzac bride and at observatory hill. Three hours later, we had the reception at the Regal in the city and i had to do my speech.

it went alright i suppose, i also suppose i fucked up, whatever, the audience weren't very receptive either, 8 out of the 12 tables were fobs.

something's annoying me, but i'm not quite sure what it is. whatever.

anyways, happy birthday both - james su and mark, thanks for slobering all over me on friday night, you really made my night wonderful.

battle scars - that flaming drink you bought us mark, well whatever it was the blue alcoholic flames found its was to my thumb and that's where a whole lotta hurt started settling in. goddamnit.

i know i've said this before, but i reckon the best thing since sliced bread - mango beer.
xtn's quite beastily, two steins of that didn't even dent his amour. bow down.

pimping - it's dirty work, but someone's gotta do it.