i spent two hours trying very very hard not to fall asleep in my training session for work.

this is lecture number 5 of 6 and it's the same story at the same time every week.

it's a combination of things really, but the biggest realisation here is that my brain doesn't want to and stubbornly refuses to study anymore, not now, not ever.

and

i've decided to go back to uni to do some post grad stuff.

so

this is going to be a problem.




sht fk sht

a quiet weekend catching up with some old school faces and also a reprieve for my wallet.

it's during this quiet time that got me thinking. thinking about things like why my body can't take 3 days of going out like it used to be able to without collapsing into a useless mess. i blame it on my diet, there is no consideration for nutritional value when my parents cook - or asian cooking for that matter, it's either oily or no oil. i've never ever ever recalled any asians i know praise carrots it for its high levels of vitamin k but how well it'll go with the paw-paw salad, and chicken, not for its protein but when cooked long enough at the right tempreture then how the crispy skin would melt in your mouth and the succulent flesh beg to be consumed.

don't get me wrong, i like my parent's cooking... most of the time... coupled with my fussless tolerance for mediocre meals.

searching for reasons why i've been so tired and run down lately has brought me to this rather superficial conclusion about diet.

it's probably as simple as, lack of sleep. that's probably it. gone are those days where small periods of sleep would suffice to completely recuperate one's self. it's sad really. but who knows, a few weeks down the track and i could write the complete opposite.

and the true reason why i'm so tired now is **insert reason here - when i figure it out**


~

i got a new phone

//edit

actually... don't take me off your list just yet, i'll be getting my number back.

edit//

hi everyone, i lost my phone. take me off your phone list.






FUCK!

i haven't been speaking my mind lately, at least not on this blog anyway and that bothers me, enough for me to write about it. once upon a time, i'd sit down open up notepad and let it out in all its grammatically incorrect glory before slapping it on blogger.

these days nervousblog.blogspot.com is just an accumulation of incoherent shit gathering cyber dust in a rather pleasant looking enclosure.

i know this is a public blog, and that in itself is a little contradictory.

larissa has mentioned this before, the point being, i set out to write my mind but it's not happening.

~

oh yeah, a question to y'all out there:

which do you prefer? inspiring others? or being inspired?

don't commend me on this new layout, it was carefully chosen from a wide selection of templates provided by blogger.com

~

...i feel that i needed a change, a clean slate in a blogger's world if you will...

yoyo

weighing up the pros and cons of different situations would more often than not help you come to a conclusive decision, at the moment there's some of that grey area, actually, a lot of that grey area that isn't THAT much of a problem, though i foresee it becoming one.

i shouldn't procrastinate.

the man downstairs whom i buy my coffee off everyday really seems like he knows what he's doing. a coffee connoisseur himself, armed with his stainless steel coffee machine he's meticulous in his chosen profession taking pride in every flawless cup he makes but more importantly i like his coffee, warm, milky and the first sip doesn't burn your tongue.

now, as i strolled in today half alseep i ordered a large, STRONG, cappuccino - naturally he would've been forgiven for mistaking my order IF there were other patrons around taking orders from fifteen other work colleagues, but there was NO-ONE else. he made my capp exactly the way he would have if it was just a large regular capp, as i recall i did emphasis 'strong'. there we were, just me and him, but i didn't want to question a pro. perhaps i didn't see him press that extra button that says "Strong Cappuccino" button that's hidden from public view, probably somewhere on the side of the coffee machine.

but alas my hopes were dashed, the large strong capp i asked for that was made like a large regular capp was in fact just a large regular capp, it _tasted_ like a large regular capp.

oh well. i'll live.

bbl