i could take a shower and goto sleep, but i wanted to write more about myself, hmmm - talking about myself twice in one night too much? nah, i don't do it all that often, and there's no harm, unless people who know me read this, and they know this blogger belongs to me - but WHATEVER, i have great friends, i'm sure they won't pass judgement based on what i write here...

i'm insecure at times, and it shows, i talk about my feelings alot and more often than not there's no resolve, "circular conversation" is the term i use loosely.

i adapt and apply other people's concepts to my life, i make a conscious effort to listen to my thoughts when i have second to myself, mostly during lunch, i usually have it by myself, cos nobody else has lunch at 3pm - i'm doing very tedious accounting work at a bank that doesn't value their staff, i try hard, i put a lot of effort in my work, i try to keep people happy, people in my immediate area anyway. i'm normally a pretty up tempo, cheerful happy person, it's only of late that i'm in this 'gloom' mood. mostly cos of the direction, or lack thereof, my career is going, then little 'obstacles' in my personal life.

i usually write in small short sentences, it makes you sound more sophisticated, but there's no one here i want to impress - so that who idea can just go out the window.

i'm tired, i ought to jump into bed and get some rest - but i want to still write - about nothing and mostly myself.

we have a small family here in sydney, we moved from adelaide in '86 - i have a few aunts and uncles in sydney - they have lots of kids now - they're my little cousins - there are lots of them - they're like a plague - that's an awful word, an awful word to describe my cousins with, but they're still very young, they will never find this journal, they're annoying though, that's why they're a plague.

someone just pulled up on our drive way - best bet it's one of my aunts/uncles - i can just make out their head lights through my shutters - they left - they dropped my mum off.

i was at a birthday party earlier in the evening - it was an old lady - an old lady i call grandma - she's not exactly my grandma, but everyone calls her that, because she's old, she's really old - close to 80 i reckon. i feel rather guilty, my parents asked me to go - i went to have some food, spoke to a few people and headed back home - the party was a 2 minute drive from my place, i don't feel so guilty anymore, i'm so tired i couldn't really give a toss.

i think my sentences are too long, but no body cares, i use a lot of commas though, that should make up for it? i don't think so, bad grammar is bad grammar - i did mention that i was a poor writer - you can see why.

there are a few good things i can say about myself though, i can safely say i'm pretty good in many sporting activities. basketball, tennis *thinking* pool, pretty strong swimmer and i can run pretty well.

my room's in a mess at the moment, my study table is packed with miscellaneous items:
- water spray
- 1 litre tub of moisturising cream
- a bouquet of hi-lighters
- 4 post it note pads stacked on top of the hi-lighters
- 3 books (fellowship of the ring & the two towers) an interior design book.
- 2 cans of deoderant

i'm a collector of crap - my book shelf doesn't have many books, there's an assortment of display items, some cologne, candles, a tray of crap.

wow - an entry of crap - i went off track again - i need to focus, i wanted to write about myself, ended up listing the things on my desk and bookshelf.